The guy said:" Its a little birdie which you shouldnt touch."
So the girl went off and the guy soon fell asleep, but when he woke up, he was in extreme pain at his groin and he called the abulance.
The doctor asked him what happened, but he couldnt remember much, except for the little girl, so the police decide to find the little girl and question her.
They manage to find her at the beach, so they asked her what she did to the man, the girl smiled and said :" I was playing with this bird under the newspaper, suddenly, it spat white stuffs at me, i got so pissed, that i twisted the bird's neck, broke its eggs, and burn its nest."
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A young couple was out for a romantic walk along a country lane.
They walk hand in hand and as they stroll the guy's lustful desire rises to a peak.
He is just about to get frisky when she says, "I hope you don't mind but I really do need to pee."
Slightly taken aback by this vulgarity he replies, "OK. Why don't you go behind this hedge."
She nods agreement and disappears behind the hedge. As he waits he can hear the sound of nylon knickers rolling down her voluptuous legs and imagines what is being exposed. Unable to contain his animal thoughts a moment longer, he reaches a hand through the hedge and touches her leg. He quickly brings his hand further up her thigh until suddenly and with great astonishment finds himself gripping a long, thick appendage hanging between
her legs.
He shouts in horror, "My God Rachel tan ... have you changed your sex?"
"No," she replies. "I've changed my mind, I'm having a shit instead.
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In a check out line the other day and the couple were arguing about whose turn it was to pay.
The clerk was kind of listening until she heard the lady said to the guy, “Stop being a scrote.”
With a furrowed brow the clerk asked, “What is a scrote?”
Without missing a beat the lady responded, “Short for scrotum. He is somewhere between a prick and an asshole.”
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"The thrill is gone from my marriage," Alan told his friend Don.
"Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair?" Don
suggested.
"But what if my wife finds out?"
"Heck, it's 2009, Alan. Go ahead and tell her about it."
So Alan went home and said, "Dear, I think an affair will bring us
closer together."
"Forget it," said his wife. "I've tried that six times already - it
never worked."
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Joe and his pretty wife Betty were strolling in the park when suddenly a giant snake jumped on Joe’s leg and bit his dick. Betty screamed and quickly brought Joe to the hospital. She begged the doctor in the emergency room "Quick! Quick! I need your help! My husband was bitten on his penis by a snake!’’
The doctor looks down and tells her "My dear, as this is an emergency, you need to have to suck the venom out from your husband's organ’’.
Betty steadied herself and asked the doctor again "Please doctor! There has to be another way to get rid of the venom’’.
The doctor says "Sorry, there's really nothing else we can do’’.
So Betty goes running back to her husband and when she gets there Joe asks anxiously "So what did the doctor say?’’
"The doctor said that you are going to die".
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A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms
and no legs.
A woman walking past felt sorry for the poor man; "Have you
ever had a hug?" she asked.
The man said, "No," so she gave him a hug and walked on.
Another woman saw this and said, "Have you ever had a kiss?"
The man said, "No," so she gave him a kiss and walked on.
A third woman walked over to him and whispered in his ear,
"Have you ever been screwed?"
The fellow looked up in amazement and said "No!"
She smiled and said, "You will be when the tide comes in!"
-edi